There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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