im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
