i just google imaged poop.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
