ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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