so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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