I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
