Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
