Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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