I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
