Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
