Nicole vs. Life
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
