so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
