she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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