i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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