for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
