Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
