I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
