he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
