Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
