If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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