At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
