Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
