is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
