It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
