R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
