if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The Olympian is in my bed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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