I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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