Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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