On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
