If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
