That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Blood and glitter go together right?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
