it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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