I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
