I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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