My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
