Where did you get a picture of my penis
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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