If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
