Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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