I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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