How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
