Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would ride that face into the sunset
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
