There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
