Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
