No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
