just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
