do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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