Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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