I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
