I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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