Cold hands, warm shart.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
