This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
