is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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