so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
