hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
