He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
