I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
