you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
