I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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